So hi, yeah I ended up procrastinating badly again sorry about that, heh. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm still making posts but I guess this is my way of expressing what's unexpressed in real life. By the way, I'll be skipping some prompts so that I can catch up to the current one faster, for example, skipping previous one about first line of my favourite book because I don't have my favourite book with me right now. Sorry about that.

What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your
favorite person? Tell us about it.

Well actually, most of the time. My favourite kind of people, which I assume here means the people I'm very close with and am fond of, are mostly those I can't reach easily and I can't see them daily. Why do you think I'm on Facebook most of the time? I'm making myself available for these people if they ever feel like chatting with me and so that I can ease the loneliness I feel in my heart.

Excuse me for the jumbled up words, pretty noisy here in my room right now. Anyway, I think the reason why I can only be close (or at least I assume I'm close to them) with these people is because they haven't known me personally enough to........well to put it simply, to be tired of my shits. I'm a mentally problematic person, I admit that, and I'm not the best of company. But I am very fond of them, and there's nothing more that I wish than to be with them, enjoying life together.

I don't have many friends. I'm nice to most people and be friendly when needed with acquaintances that I face daily as it's necessary but there are very few that I actually like being with, whom I enjoy the company of and those I'll do anything for. Unfortunately, most of these people are not easy to reach, and I really don't know what's my position is in their life. Am I just another acquaintance? Do they care about me as much as I them? Or am I just a nuisance who won't stop bothering their everyday life?

I'm lonely. I really am. The only person I feel most comfortable with is Anna, whom I never doubt my existence in hers, yet due to my own fault, her parents don't like me so it's hard for us to actually hang out together except online. Actually the list of friends I really care for is increasing now, yet it pains me to know I probably mean nothing to them and that it's hard for us to even meet each other. Currently, I'm sad because a really dear friend of mine who I love, Potato, is probably enjoying her life in college among her true friends while I'm here shrouded by loneliness.

Heh fine, I'll whine. It's the reason I blog anyway. Turtle probably think of me as a problematic guy she's friendly with, but nothing more than just to keep her company. I don't even want to talk about Shixin. Chloe and Celine are really dear to me, yet I can find nothing for us to enjoy conversing together. The thing about being an introvert is, I'm really bad with small talks, I'll chat with them whenever I feel like it enquiring some informations, and the conversation just dies off. I want to chat more actually, but yeah.

My so called best-friend Fullah's hard to reach, and he probably think I'm just another nuisance. I can't seem to find the best time to chat with him now. Mei Yi is really nice and all but I'm not that warmed up to her for some reason. I probably need more time to get another person to open up to. I'm trying though, sorry Mei Yi, if you're reading this anyway.

I actually have quite a few more to list if I am to list them all but it saddens me that we aren't in contact as frequently as we used to (if ever). I used to be the friend-less guy who just find it unnecessary to get friends as they just double-cross you in some way or another. But as I grew up and found these people I can call my true friends, it's like they'd dragged me out of the depression hole I buried myself in and I find it even more depressing if they just leave me after that as I slowly sink back in.

To justify them all, I'm just a noone and it's my fault for not reaching out for them in the first place. It's just my nature that way, heh. I'm used to loneliness, but I don't enjoy even a second of it.

Do you have a favorite quote that you return to again and again? What is it, and why does it move you?

As someone who's in a LOT of fandoms, escaping reality with fantasy and finding inspiration in characters of fiction, I dare not choose a favourite among my favourites. When I was a kid, I've always been inspired by the typical hero-type of characters. Never giving up, always looking at the optimistic side of things and caring for their friends above other priorities. The values I've learnt from these fictional characters had shaped me to who I am now and most of the principles I live for as the harsh world of reality slaps me in the face and dragging me to despair.

Lets start with my passion, Kamen Rider. Now before you groan and say how childish it is, let me tell you something about the history of the Riders. The main are usually normal people with a sense of justice and desire to help others. The source of their powers, the one that they use to fight evil, are originally from the exact force evil itself. The Riders are not all good, and as the story progressed they're challenged with the issue of morality, on whether humanity is worth saving and is their side most righteous. As Kadoya Tsukasa simply stated, the Riders don't fight for justice, they fight for THEIR justice, for whatever they think is right and to protect those who they can.

One of my recently entered fandom that I'm super obsessed with is Doctor Who. My most favourite Doctor is Ninth as he is the first face I've seen portraying the mysterious being called the Doctor. Now with the power to go wherever he want in time and space, he decided to travel everywhere, appreciating the beauty of creation no matter how small or big. Whenever faced with problems or threat, he face them with wisdom and expresses fascination of such actions presented upon him instead of judging or being prejudice against it. His favourite spoken word? FANTASTIC!

Recently returned Sherlock that is portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch had taught me well too. Despite being someone who's different, gifted yet cursed with high intellect and lack of empathy, Sherlock cares for and think highly of his lesser-intellect companion, John Watson and express deep concern in people being in danger. Despite having society judging him, he decided to rise up and save the world and try his best to compensate for his lack of empathy (rather comically) whenever he think he had crossed the line.

I can go on forever with every single character, fictional or not, whom I've learn from and admire but I decided it's best to write about these three basic characteristics that I've adapted in my own life. I once admit it myself, that I'm too nice to be evil, and these are the reasons why.

At first the prompt mean the movie Kickin' It or something, you know, that one with that Zac Efron's best friend from High School Musical? No? Ah well, in my defence, I was a pretty huge Disney fan and I watched pretty much most of the movies back when I still watch TV.

What's the 11th item on my bucket list? Wee Nie explained to me that a bucket list is a list of things I want to do in my life. To be honest, my bucket list keep changing depending on how I feel on that particular day but sometimes when I feel like it, I'll write it down. Lucky for me, I've done that last year (hah, old joke) when discussing about the possibilities in the future with Yuki-chan and titled it Dear Me and it's still in my laptop. Lemme just copy and paste it here.

Dear Me,

New Year Resoluton. Oh how many people actually tried and completely forgotten about it in a few days after making it. I admit that I'm not the most dedicated of people, I'm lazy and I procrastinate a lot, so usually I won't do New Year Resolutions unless asked to (usually by teachers trying to make us better) and when I have something to actually look forward to.

Last year, the resolutions that I can still remember is to continue on loving and never having problems with my relationship with my girlfriend............we broke up on that particular year. I want to work out and get back in shape and actually gain weight to make myself look more presentable to the real world. The fact that I'm in college living on instant noodles and porridge due to money shortage proves that it was yet another failed resolution. I did work out here and there, but I'm still as thin as a stick. And I think I've grown weaker and unable to do stuffs I usually did without any problem before. I wanted to write a book, yet I ended up leaving my skill in fiction-writing rust and I can't even write a simple short story without struggling with writer block.

Heh, I can make a list of unresolved New Year Resolutions I've made each year and it still won't cover how much of a sloath I am in changing my own life towards better grades. Yet I've also managed to get closer to people I want to be close with, gain new trusted friends that I care about, learn the hardship of life and gain a new variety of music in my playlist. I learn who cares for me, who I care for, and where I should stand and be with. For that, I am happy and grateful with what I have. I've even managed to get 3.53 in the first semester of college and learn to manage my money better.

For this year, there are new resolutions and there are resolutions that I'm keeping. With hope that I shall resolve this with the year of 2014 with more determination and reasons.

- I want to never lose another person I hold dear.
- I want to improve my body and find an efficient way to do so while managing my money properly.
- I want to open up to more people and stop being such a loner.
- I want to continue on writing and finishing this 365 writing prompts this year to prove myself of what I can do.
- I want to get back to Faith and seek for His forgiveness.
- I want to actually study and earn my exam results, not given.

There are a lot more that's unspoken here, and I hope and pray to accomplish all of them as fast as I can. And may I find what I seek for as my days as a teenager is approaching to an end. Amin.

So as headstart so that whoever actually follow this blog won't get a heart attack due to sudden frequency of posts starting from today, I'm gonna do the 365 Days of Writing Prompts my friend gave me to encourage myself to start writing more and stop being a lazy douche bag. So yeah, the titles and some of the prompts might be altered to fit what I have in mind and I may still post personal stuffs outside the prompts whenever I need to, but in general, I'll be writing a blog post daily starting from 2014 and being a master procrastinator, I've missed 7 days already so I'll be doing 8 posts today (yay college for no class). I apologize in advance if each posts today don't feel much depth in the writing because it's hard to feel different things and write them down at the same time you feel me?

....okay wow that's a long intro. So lets start with what happened when the clock reached the Twelfth Hour at the midnight, signifying the end of 2013 and the start of 2014. At the stroke of midnight, in person, I was alone, in the bedroom facing my beloved laptop Yuon wrapped comfortably in blankets. It is a lonely life, as you might say, for an 18 year old boy to be alone on New Year Eve without even the presence of his family. My family aren't much like me in this perspective, they're normal people who sleep around 9pm, close the lights and wake up at 6 to start their lives. Being in a fishing village called Besut, I don't have many friends to hang out with to celebrate this occasion.

But online, I was chatting with people who I care much about and whom I am comfortable with. Despite being separated by hundreds of kilometres in distance, we're connected through this gift of modern technology. I was happy, chatting with people who like me as who I am and who I can be with, eventhough it isn't in real life. As the hour slowly ticks, I'm grateful to have met these people and wouldn't ask for nothing more than to hang out with them to celebrate this together. Even if it is in virtual reality.

Even after the hour fades and people start going to sleep, I spent the time thinking about how mysterious 2014 is for me and how I don't have any vivid idea what to expect in this particular year. Anna actually took the time to call me at 3am to wish me personally Happy New Year despite being busy with her own friends. I was grateful, and finally went to sleep with a smile on my face.

So was it where I'd wanted to be? No, I want to personally be there, crowded with my friends as we huddle together in anxiety of facing yet another year, wishing that we'll still be friends and nothing will change that, but after years of living alone, lonely and depressed, I can say that I'm grateful to even have them in the first place, and that I can chat with them online as we close the final chapter of 2013.

Dear friends,
You may or may not know this, but thank you. Thank you for being in my life, and thank you for letting me be in yours.