Best part about having a blog literally named after you is that you never really forget about it. (I should really do the name part for privacy purposes, but meh, not like I'm using this thing for any negative stuffs anyway)

So yeah, yo. How long has it been since I properly write something for anything again? Perhaps too long. I had so many things to write about this morning but as usual, as soon as I reach this blank page with my hands on the keyboard, I lost almost all of what I intended to talk about. Lately a lot of people have been telling me to write more, since I'm capable of doing that and I surely have the time to write, so here I am, trying.

First thing I wanna get off my head is the idea of trying to do something better with my life. Around a few months back, there was this motivational speaker that came to my college and started talking about his successes. Usually, I hate these kind of speakers. They sound braggy, they offer the same plain advice which roughly translate to (oh you don't need to do shit really, just be nice to everyone and do everything mediocrely and maybe someday some miracle success will stumble upon you too!) . Zero tips on how to chase after success with any specifications, zero effort used to tell us ANYTHING about how to reach success in a more practical manner. Well then again maybe that's why it's called motivational speech. It's just to motivate you. The whys, not the hows.

Anyway, this guy's different. He started talking about how he just recently got married, owned a car and house he paid full, owned a whole company and a group of loyal friends working with him. His age? 19 years old. A shy one year younger than me and he succeeded so much in life at such early stage in his life. Now I can go on ages about how his method of success is impossible for me since he relies mostly on his natural ability to influence people and leading a group of people while I'm...well....an introvert. Or I can go ages about how at his stage in life, his success doesn't mean he has reached a point of stability in life where anything afterward can be faced with a smile, no life doesn't work that way.

Instead I wanna rant about my own life, because yeah, I'm narcissistic that way. At the age of 20, I just fairly recently finished the education part of my diploma with zero guarantee that it'll account to anything, I'm stuck in a 3-months internship with a small company doing clerk works and retail, and I spend my free times watching tv shows and wrapping myself in fictional fantasies. I have accumulated many skills in life, my English writing and speaking ability is probably my flashiest skills, my ability to understand anything without much struggle, my understanding of technology and fixing anything that's broken, my stage performances, my past successes in debate and writing. I can go on for ages about how much I've picked up throughout the year.

But still here I am, at the age of 20, taking the slow road to success because apparently that's my safest option, Now this can't be right, I can do more, I have the ability to do more, I am capable of finding and achieving more to brag about myself to others and enjoy the outcome of within my youth. If this kid at the age of 19 can achieve what people at the age of 30 can only dream to get, why must I restrain myself with the mediocre success of the average 30 year old achieves? I NEED to do more, it's now or never.

Now I'm perfectly aware of my awesome ability to have a short burst of motivation that runs out as fast as the candle on a short wick, so I need alternatives to keep a steady and rising achievements every day. This here, this longass ranting, is my first step. After this I'm gonna look for things to join and other  websites to write to, if they are to take me. It may be yet another short burst of interest, but Imma try make it worth. To those who actually took the time to read this, first of all, the hell is wrong with you, don't you have anything better to do? Secondly, wish me the best and I hope you will achieve more too, with each day that pass by.


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