Hey pal, how's it going?

So I know this is long before you've written a letter to me and a year earlier than when your letter should've been received to me but I just feel like writing to you, someone that is so similar yet different from me. Shits have been happening these past few weeks and within my life (yeah I said shits, do you know your future self casually swear now? Who would've guessed huh) and I figured I need a break. I need to go back and rethink what had gone wrong in my life.

For starters, your SPM result? Bummer. Sure you're being all high and mighty being confident about PMR right now and yes, you will get those 8As, stomping down your older siblings results, proving yourself for one glory moment, but it wasn't just a reward, it was a curse. You're cursed to not know how your potential is an unshaped one. How it is just barely surviving up till now and when you realise you need to grab a knife and sharpen it, it had been way too late for that. And the harder the potential grew with age, the harder to sharpen it, as it is used to being dull.

But hey, not everything had gone down in your life right? I mean c'mon, you're a social outcast right now. But fear not, very soon, you'll get to start afresh. Your past may haunt you but you will find people who understand, who accepts, and who embrace you as who you are, and desire nothing more than that. You may be a detached freak right now but not long now, you'll yearn for those interactions with people you like, feels like you finally belong and leave your past as a terrible memory forgotten.

What did I just tell you earlier? With a reward there's a curse. Being shapen by so many years of loneliness and being neglected, it isn't that easy for you to embrace a new life. You'll find yourself trying to shrug it off, shooing away people who come close to you, and fear their touch as it may be too big for your tiny broken heart to handle. And it WILL happen, you will lose some, and you will also gain some. Those who stay are precious, hold together by sheer bond of friendship. Because deep down you know, you NEED them.

I have a lot of things to tell you right now pal, like how you've gotten lazy in reading, your insomnia getting worse, stress and pressure all around you and your mental problem? Yep. Still here bro. But Imma skip straight to the point here. You need to have faith, you need to learn to open up and let people be in your world, because you need to realise, YOU are in THEIR worlds. As much as the bond hold you and them together, it is still fragile, and you never realised it.

I know, being selfish is the reason why you're still here and sane right now, it's how you fend off those who try to ruin you and burn you down. But you aren't the only one that matters, you aren't the only one that suffers. As much as you are crying in a corner right now, there's another person crying harder, feeling lost and need guidance more than you. As much as your problems burden you, as heavy as you have to carry those responsibilities, you are NOT allowed to let them down. You hear me? You are allowed to doubt, but hear me Farid Taqiuddin, THEY do too. Think about that for awhile, it may have been too early to tell you this, but I guess this is more of a slap to me more than you. I'm sorry for disappointing you pal, and we may have lost a dear friend because of it. I'm really, really sorry.

Your friend,
Farid Taqiuddin