Tragedy
(As submitted for the Dublin Literary Award for Young Malaysians 2012)
23rd March, 2012. Friday
I
hate my life! Everything is going against me and I can’t even do anything about
it. Strict teachers, nagging parents, troublesome brother, what else? Take
today as the perfect example of my oh-so-not-perfect life. I woke up at half
past 6, just to find out that my obnoxious baby brother had finished the hot
bath, got nagged by mom for “waking up so late” and a continuous lecture on why
I should change, courtesy of my dad, along the ride to school. Just when I
thought the day couldn’t get worse, the stream of bad luck had just started.
Turned out that I completely forgot all my homework – some of them were already
ruined by – what my mom called “innocent” – Hasril who thought ripping his big
brother’s homework jotter was completely reasonable. As expected, I received
another 1 hour and a half dose of lecture from my caring Biology teacher and
got to stand outside the class for every subject whose homework I didn’t do.
Returning
back home didn’t even cure me, it worsened the situation. Unfortunately, one of
my teacher was kind enough to call my mom, informing her of my wrong doings
this morning and nothing – I repeat, NOTHING – can stop my mom’s mouth from the
endless blabbering.
“You woke up late, didn’t do your homework,
came back looking like a tramp and don’t even make me remind me about your
.......” and so on it went.
“But mom, Hasril ripped my homework jotter, and I woke up early at 6.30!
“Don’t you dare put the blame on your brother Azril Mazlan! He’s still a toddler. You, on the other hand, is a full grown young adult, You should know better than leaving your homework jotter lying around the house. And don’t talk back to me when I’m talking to you” she replied with a swift speed as her anger rising rapidly.
“But mom, Hasril ripped my homework jotter, and I woke up early at 6.30!
“Don’t you dare put the blame on your brother Azril Mazlan! He’s still a toddler. You, on the other hand, is a full grown young adult, You should know better than leaving your homework jotter lying around the house. And don’t talk back to me when I’m talking to you” she replied with a swift speed as her anger rising rapidly.
That’s it! I won’t stand the kind of
treatment anymore. I dropped my bag, stomp all the way to my bedroom and did
the most typical thing a sulking brat will do – slamming the door hard enough
to be heard by my mom. Turning on the radio, Simple Plan’s song seems to mock
me even more:
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Out of pure
frustration and anger, I grabbed my diary and wrote the most horrible wish I
had made in my life boldly with a pen;
I WISH MY FAMILY IS GONE
Tears
trickled sown my cheeks as I wrote these down in my diary. Being known as being
too sensitive for a 17-year-old boy, tears always come whenever I’m frustrated.
I’d learnt from a seminar last year the method to channel out my depressions
using the gift of written words, this explaining why a guy like me even possess
such girlish thing.
24th March, 2012. Saturday
A
knock was heard, followed by the door opening, revealing the figure I’d been
loathing to see, my mom.
“Ril, are you still mad?” My mom said softly,
fully aware that I’d been sulking for the whole day after the event yesterday,
refusing to leave my room even for dinner.
Seeing
no response, my mom sat besides my bed, stroking her son tenderly.
“Look, I’m sorry that I’d gone overboard
yesterday. It was a really stressful day for me. You’re not the one to be
blamed for all of it Azril.” Her gentle voice slowly creeps into my heart,
healing the wounds the same voice had created.
“Yeah, like you’ll ever blame Hasril for
anything.” I replied with a croaky voice – my throat dried for not being used
for a long while.
“I already did” my mom said flatly. “Hasril
wasn’t allowed to be outside his room for the whole day”
The revelation shocked me as much as it rapidly changed my mood, Looking up from my “sulking position”, I looked at my mom closely, searching for any sign of a lie.
The revelation shocked me as much as it rapidly changed my mood, Looking up from my “sulking position”, I looked at my mom closely, searching for any sign of a lie.
“You did?” I asked for confirmation.
So Azril, where to?” Greeted dad with a rare
smile he usually wear whenever he has a really good day, surprising me again
for the third time as I got down the stairs.
“Hi Dad, sorry about last night” I said sheepishly, trying not to ruin the good mood.
“Hi Dad, sorry about last night” I said sheepishly, trying not to ruin the good mood.
“Teenagers, we don’t know them, they don’t know
us. But let not get into that shall we? So, going to town or not? Your friends
are already waiting there” Yep, it’s my dad alright. Apparently my friends
called this morning but my dad picked up, they asked if I’m free to join them
to town and so my dad convinced my mom to allow me to go. “It was the least I
can do to make up for everything, junior, now come on!”
What
happened next was like a dream. My friends greet me as we arrived, commenting
on how cool my dad was – he even gave me an extra allowance for that day! –,
and we pretty much rocked the whole day. Back from the town, my mom prepared
the best dinner I’d tasted, and we chatted about what I do the whole week,
complimenting me on my achievements and offered useful advices for me. Even
little Hasril was less naughty than usual – probably learnt his lesson after
being grounded yesterday.
25th March 2012. Sunday
Today
was, perhaps, one of the best Sundays I’d experienced in my life. I’d been to
the library and borrow some new books there, thought little Hasril to walk a
little – he still crawl most of the time but he was rapidly getting use to
walking – and spent some quality time with my families.
26th March 2012. Monday
After
driving me to school, my families left to went back to our village. Last night
we received news that my grandfather was sick with a bad fever. After some
family discussion, my mom decided to visit her beloved in-law without me since
I’m still in my teachers’ bad list so I can’t really request for an excuse for
the day. I’m completely fine with that, I mean, having the whole house for
myself will be awesome! The whole school was completely normal with no nagging
teachers.
This
evening, I felt like updating my diary, since I got nothing else to do for the
whole day. Writing is now one of my favourite past time, I’m even planning to
be a part-time novel writer one day.
Completely
submerged with my writing, I missed the first ring of my cell phone, so I was
pretty shocked to see a miss call from my uncle when I finally pick my phone
up. But then the phone ring again, this time it’s from the same uncle who lived
with my grandparents.
“Azril,
I’m sorry to tell you this, but your family just got into an accident. I’ll
come and fetch you as soon as I can”, thus came the concerned voice, delivering
the harsh truth to me.
I
was not even sure how to react; I sit there on my study desk, holding the
phone, with emotions stirring inside of me as I felt my whole body going numb.
A cold wind blew from the window, flipping the pages of my diary, revealing
what I had wrote three days before, almost as in that particular sentence had
came to haunt me for the rest of my life, going in and out of psychology centres,
schools for problematic kids, and orphanages.
I WISH MY FAMILY IS GONE
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2 comments:
OMG! is that your submitted entry. Oh, it was the coolest things i ever read!
might not be a perfect day. but at least things were happening. it wasn't dull. so it wasn't all that bad. =)
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