750 Words: Let's do this again
1 year ago
Another Style
In one of my - futile - attempt to create a new writing style for
me, this is the result.
Note - yes, it's another incomplete story I wrote
Alone. Dark. Cold.
Never thought I say this but I wish I
didn’t run away. I mean, anything’s better then out here in the street without
any specific destination or money. Then, a flashback. Remembering the
sadness….. the torture…. Maybe
out here alone IS better my
inner thought commented. Shrugging out of coldness, I continue walking down the
street, hoping no one is chasing after me.
I hate my parents, I know almost everybody will detest this
statement but it’s true, they ignore me, they left me in an orphan house even
though they’re still alive, they fought all the time, oh, and they ignore me.
Once, I even wonder how I came to this world, the cruel, heart-less world. I
remember seeing a picture in the house, happy faces that looked like my parents
but different, they were smiling
and together.
I still remember them – though I always
try to forget. Mum, a pretty lady that worries about everything. Except for me the sadistic part of me said. Always
make sure the house’s spotless, always make sure no one touch her precious belongings
and always make sure I don’t do anything that’ll ruin the house.
Dad. He’s the main of mum’s worries. Never
come home on time, always out-station, and always come home with a suspicious
lady perfume smell all over him. As expected, mum did some spying and
discovered he cheated on her. Dad was angry that she hired a detective to do
the work – typical, he was just caught cheating and he’s angry the money’s
spent?
And so they scream at each other, argue,
and completely ignore me. I was fine back then, I mean, I was only 4 and
completely clueless on what happened. Then come the court, both were separated,
neither wanted to claim me and both agreed – finally – to send me to an orphan
house. One word, hell.
Remembering the first day, alone,
clueless, ignored by orphans living there. I was 6 back then – yeah, the big
parent argument lasted for 2 years – and still trying to painfully swallow the
horrible truth. Sobbed all days and night in my room because of it. After 2
whole weeks, I somehow eased the pain and started exploring. In the orphan
house, they’re lots of heart-broken orphans. All needed to share the limited
facilities we got there, until we manage to get adopted that is. The first week
of exploring was fine; only a few noticed me and everybody just mind their own
business.
I started talking to the orphans, sharing
stories, playing games and try to forget about my parents. One day, they asked
about my parents. I was dumbstruck, the question was easy enough but to tell
them was like trying to tear open a still-healing wound. Since they’re my
friends, I told them, how they started fighting with each other, how they got
divorced and left me here.
“Wait, your parents are still alive?” they
asked.
“Well, yeah. Why?” the statement that
changed everything.
After the incident, the orphans started
ignoring me, they left me out in games, they ignore when I talk to them and
they didn’t save the food portion for me. What
had happen?
It turns out that they envied me. All of
them lost their parents in a tragic way; some of them didn’t even know their
own parents. The fact that I still had mine angers them. In their mind, parents
protect and love, give you everything you want and always be with you. Their
ideal makes them jealous of everyone with parents and wish they had one too.
The thought that someone here actually HAS his parents but sharing their food
and limited facilities cause them to hate me, the one with parents.
Great, I lost my parents over a stupid
quarrel and now I lost my friends? That was still okay, considering I’m
getting used to being ignore but then, the bullying begins. It all started when
I was trying to get my portion of lunch when suddenly this guy who had a big
grudge on me – his loving parents died in a fire – knocked me of. Now almost
everybody started calling me names and pick on me. Heck, even my bed was like
it being hit by a typhoon after they’ve done with it. Crying silently, I
continue.
Hunger strikes. I didn't eat anything
before leaving that horrible place - not that I eat much when I was there. My
portion's always the smallest, bullies mercilessly took my food and no one
offered any sympathy or help. Just stare at me with full hatred in their eyes.
I took my chance when it was presented in front of me, the old guard forgot to
lock the gate and I left, with nothing except the cloth I'm wearing.
Cars passed by from time to time, but non
stop even for a second curious glance at me. My steps are getting weaker, my
breath's getting harder, the snow is getting thicker. Might as well die here then came the thought in my mind.
Nothing good had ever happened in my life, uncaring parents, being hated,
nothing. Finally, I accidentally kicked a rock an stumbled.
Goosebumps increasing in numbers around my
legs, I don't think I can get up anymore...... good bye world, maybe I'm better of
in the other world - if there is another world anyway
A light. As I almost close my eyes, the
light came nearer. An angel
coming to great me? No, this
light is real, coming from a car I faintly recognize. A woman came out, my eyes
were almost closed but I still see who she was, as I slowly drift to
unconscious. Using the last of my energy, I spoke a croaky voice as the
woman gently hugged me, crying as she carries me to the Lamborghini I
know so well.
"Mom......"
Thursday, December 08, 2011
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8 comments:
great. i love the situation. haha. pathetic! hihi
by the way is this has connection with the story below? cos i dont see the relation. hope to read the continuation from u. great farid. this is great. ur style is really natural and the flow is just nice :) keep it up.
actually, this is another un-finish story I wrote last week, like I said, I'm waiting for my Muse to return so I can't continue them yet TT_TT
It is a fine well-written story and maybe a few more words could have left it open-ended, yet complete - as a sad tale of abandonment.
Anna :o]
thanks, you're right, it isn't complete. I'm going to finish as soon as my Muse came back.
I like the way you describe the introduction with three words. hehe. then the way you introduce the character is really catchy. and of course, i love the last paragraph. please, do continue :)
it's YOUR parents, not YOU'RE. i think you missed that. =) keep writing!
Thanks! I finally finish this in-complete short story and currently am working on the other, be sure to read it!
this was a pathetic, hapless attempt in getting worshipped by other than your schoolmates. i did not find any of your essays that convincing at all. in fact, they're just childish in a way that almost made me vomit looking at their awkward predicament of discontinuity and not having a well written plot. try to submit your essays to the English teachers. i bet they would have the same remarks as i have which is dull and vain.
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